The Problem With Public Restrooms

My job requires me to spend almost all of my 8 hours out in the field and as such I need to find public restrooms to use when need be. One of my biggest pet peeves (out of about 1000 so they're not really pet, but I digress) are people who don't understand that when a bathroom or stall door is closed and locked it means that someone is using it. It's pretty obvious to anyone with a brain but apparently brains are in limited supply. The worst in this regard are the elderly. Whenever I choose a supermarket to do my business, within minutes there are very old men trying to enter, and banging on the door nonstop. I can hear them badmouthing me outside and when I finish I leave to a mob of Matlocks giving me the evil eye.

I find it common sense that when the door is locked that there's obviously someone using the facilities and as such I usually don't even respond to people knocking or trying to break down the door. I learned my first lesson in the folly of this approach in one of my first companies out of college.

This company had two bathrooms: a crappy, multiple stall plus shower stall bathroom, and a huge, decorated executive bathroom stocked w/ all of the latest magazines and plants. I always used the nice bathroom.

Well one day I was using the nice bathroom. 9-11 had just happened and it changed everything. I was reading the latest Time Magazine exploiting 9-11 when there was a knocking at the door after the person had tried to get in.



I didn't respond because I shouldn't have to - the door is locked for a reason. So I sit there enjoying my reading when I hear a key unlocking the door... and the cleaning lady bursts in.



So this should have set me off on a path for life to be responsive to people trying to enter a bathroom I'm using. But it didn't. I still held firm that common sense should tell someone that a locked bathroom/stall means someone is using it. Occasionally I'd scream at someone and issue death threats if they were too persistent but I generally just ignored them and continued reading my paper or whatever.

The other day I entered the Mattapan branch of the Boston Public Library. The bathroom was completely empty so I go to use the luxurious, handicapped stall w/ plenty of room and rails for me to hang the sections of my paper on. A few minutes in I hear the door open to the restroom and these tiny feet appear at the door of my penthouse in the sky stall.



I don't bother responding since the kid didn't even bother knocking or figuring out that Mr. Drummond's stall was occupied. And he should figure out that the door is locked for a reason.

And then the kid dove under the stall, stood up in front of me and said, "Uh-oh!"



I then barked at the 5 year old kid, "IT'S LOCKED FOR A REASON!"



He backed up quickly and then dove under the stall as quickly as he violated my penthouse. He used the empty stall next to me w/ the open door and started to talk out loud.



The kid kept saying, "uh, oh," "that's gonna hurt," "oh no," over and over. I tried to ignore the kid but then heard him trying to wash his hands. He couldn't reach the faucets and so...



I again ignored him even as he pleaded with me for help. He eventually left and brought back an older kid who could reach the faucets for him. Once they finished up I prematurely ended my time there and left. I obviously couldn't enjoy a peaceful time, didn't want to have to run into his parent chewing me out for yelling at him (and I guess not helping him wash his hands), and started to wonder if I'd get busted for having a 5 year old busting into my stall and seeing me naked.

I probably won't change much after the latest incident but maybe now I'll start screaming more at people.